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I'm really not much of a drinker,
Then trust me, there's nothing like drinking.
A good drink makes the old young.
There's many a slip 'twixt the cup and the lip.
A beer in the hand is worth two in the fridge.
Millions who long for immortality do not know what to do with themselves
Voltaire on his deathbed was advised to renounce the devil.
The chains of habit are too weak to be felt until they are
I'm extraordinarily patient providing I get my own way in the end.
If you look like your passport photo, in all probability you need a
A narrow mind has a broad tongue.
Love is blind but marriage restores the sight.
The wise man has long ears, big eyes and a short tongue.
Better the cold blast of winter than the hot breath of a pursuing leopard.
If you want to be happy for an evening, drink.
Peace is the result of understanding, not of agreement.
Even a beetle is a beauty in the eyes of its mother.
Any plan is bad which is not susceptible to change.
Those who rest on their laurels find themselves sitting on a thorn bush.
Thrift is what you do to yourself; meanness is what you do to others.
Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.
Saying is one thing, and doing another.
I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back.
Advice is seldom welcome; and those who want it the most
There's many a good tune played on an old fiddle.
Keep your mouth shut and your eyes open.
Life is a mirror: if you frown at it, it frowns back;
As I don't expect much, I can never be much disappointed.
Cowboy philosophy: always drink upstream from the herd.
Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
Expect the worst,
Do not believe all you hear and do not tell all you see.
Our senses don't deceive us; our judgement does.
The fairest apple hangs on the highest bough.
Woman was made after man, and man has been after her ever since.
Talk is cheap - until lawyers get involved
Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back.
Never run after a bus or a girl because another one will be along shortly.
The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds;
This world is a comedy to those who think, a tragedy to those who feel.
If love is a dream, then marriage is an alarm clock.
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
A man who gives in when he is wrong is wise. A man who gives in when he
The art of hospitality is to make guests feel at home when you wish they were.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
A tidy desk is the sign of an untidy desk drawer.
There is nothing like getting a good lie off your chest.
A hedge between keeps friendship green.
A nod is as good as a wink to a blind horse.
Be careful - the toes you step on today may be connected to the ass you
If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of mortgage
Money is the root of all evil...
Early to bed and early to rise.
A barrel of good ale works more miracles than a church full of saints.
There was no respect for youth when I was young, and now that I'm old,
If all economists were laid end to end, they would not reach a conclusion.
Laugh and the world laughs with you... or thinks you an idiot!
When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never
People with no vices usually have some pretty annoying virtues.
Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined.
A man is as old as he feels, and a woman is as old as she looks.
No bees, no honey; no work, no money.
Save your breath to cool your porridge.
If there were wisdom in beards, all goats would be prophets.
It is not the fault of the post that a blind man cannot see it.
A beggar on his feet is worth more than an emperor in his grave.
If at first you don't succeed, avoid all evidence that you tried.
I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.
He that digs a pit for another may fall into it himself.
What good is running if one is on the wrong road?
He that drinks beer, thinks beer.
Some are born great, some achieve greatness and some have PR officers.
Be nice to your kids - they'll choose your nursing home. |